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11 Aug '10

Film Night in June

Posted by Michael Starke

Dear Terrence Towel trend-setters, comfort merchants and people who need regular drying alike,

I would like to tell you a little story if you could spare just two minutes of your time.

A little while ago I went to see a film - Toy Story 3.  It was a good film.  It had all the old characters as I remembered with Woody and Buzz again tremendously voiced by Tom Hanks and Tim Allen.  It had been roughly 11 years since the last Toy Story film hit the big screen and it had lost none of its charm.  The characters were well constructed, the storyline impeccable and plenty of clever humour to go straight over the kids heads in the front row and keep the adults in the back chortling and guffawing.  It was the only film ever given 5 stars by the Triple j reviewer, which is what prompted me to see it in the first place.  I sat there watching this amazing 3D masterpiece unfold in front of my eyes yet a single thought, nay, feeling resonated in my mind and body; 

‘I can’t believe how comfortable I am right now’

I was wearing a Terrence Towel pleasure-suit, red Trackies with a silver grey Hoodie.  My friend to my right was also wearing a towel pleasure-suit although he had chosen a striking combination of Blue Steel Trackies and the same silver grey Hoodie up top.

As I strolled through the Jam-Factory, I felt smug.  But not the smug I’m sure comes with being the best looking person at a whole party, the richest person in the room or having the hottest girlfriend sitting outside at a Southbank cafe.  The smugness I felt far-outweighed any of these materialistic, narcissistic or shallow concerns.  I was smug because I knew, categorically and without question that I was - in the worst-case scenario – 94% more comfortable than everyone else I saw.

Which basically brings me to the fatal flaw of towel clothing, devastating as it is.  Towel clothing will make the rest of your wardrobe feel like you are pulling on a jacket made of nails, pants made from a door-mat or a jumper made from steel-wool.  For this we apologise.


You’re Welcome,


Terrence Towel.